Imagine a world where there are no more “tough” or “mean” or “complicated” or even “easy” questions. None whatsoever. In fact, any category you can think of – there are none of those.
And it’s not because reporters or parents or anyone else in your community have stopped asking them. You can’t control that. Rather, it’s because you have stopped thinking, even worrying, about them that way.
Yes, YOU. What do you mean, you say? How can I stop categorizing questions? Because some are tough. Some are mean-spirited. Some are easy, let’s face it.
Here’s why. Because you have no control over the questions. Why not spend your energy, your “shelf space in your head” on what you CAN control?
That’s your answer.
In the two decades I’ve been teaching communications skills across this country, I find in any industry/environment I’ve ever worked in, this obsession with questions. We are, indeed, question-focused. We tend to give our power away to the person asking the question.
What about this? Henry Kissinger at a news conference looked out at reporters, after he’d made his opening remarks, and said, “Now, do any of you have any questions for my answers?” This always catches people off guard, making them giggle nervously when I tell this story. Why? Like I just said -- most of us are question-focused. We let somebody else “drive,” and that typically is the person asking the question. The result is this weakens us, putting us at the mercy of the questioner.
So how about this? Why don’t YOU get in the driver’s seat? And why not begin to view a question as not something you should serve, but, indeed, as a tool that can serve you – and not just about that one particular topic, but a tool that can serve the big picture, your overall story or mission.
I’m really talking about serving kids. Isn’t that why you do what you do?
Let’s go back to imagining now. Imagine a world where every question you’ll ever be asked again is an opportunity to move the ball forward for kids in your district. You can do that, you know, if you lose your allegiance to the question – and attach it the only thing you have control over -- your answer.
This implies, of course, that you have your answers. That you have already thought through and written down words that tell your community what you’re doing to ensure its kids are getting the best. That its kids are your top priority. That its kids can have their dreams come true.
All of this might sound good to you. But what about when we’re asked to address a subject that is not such good news, such as the current budget situation. I know this is strong in your minds. You all have had to make all kinds of adjustments in terms of eliminating teachers and cool programs. Tough decisions, indeed. You likely think your topic is this: The budget crisis, right?
Whoa. Let me ask you – what kind of feeling/emotion does that give the mamas and daddys in your community? Does it make them trust that their kids, even still, are getting the best education or that their kids are your top priority? Because don’t the mamas and daddys still want their kids to be your top priority?
You know they do.
But when you view it as a “crisis” or “disaster” or “disappointment,” do you see the message that gives your community? What I’m saying is there’s a place for that kind of thinking, and, therefore, that kind of talking. It’s called Frankfort.
But the mamas and daddys in your community is not the place. They need what? They need to know that you are bringing the very best to their kids, regardless. So, instead of using this whole budget crisis way of thinking as your lens, what about replacing that by thinking of the current budget situation as an “opportunity to maximize the resources we bring to ensure that all kids in this district get the education they deserve.”
Am I tossing a lot out to you? Let’s call it what it is -- a paradigm shift for many of us. Because we typically accept the common or popular one-way way of thinking. I’m talking about having the guts – for the sake of the kids in your school/district – to flip the coin to the other side to see it from a different perspective. To give the mamas and daddys in your district the peace of mind it takes for them to trust that you, indeed, do have the best interest of kids at heart.
Just some words to ponder……
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